


Why Don't You Smile Anymore?

by my_happy_little_bean



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Mentions of Blood, Other, Screaming, brief mentions of sickness/wanting to throw up, implied panic attack, mentions of manipulative behaviour, patton angst, this made me cry :")
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 13:18:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_happy_little_bean/pseuds/my_happy_little_bean
Summary: Based off the following anon prompt I got: "Could you maybe write me a little Patton angst? Like what happened to Patton after the whole Deceit pretending to be him thing? I mean nothing long or anything just like a mudfic and you don't have too if you don't want to"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~When Patton goes into his room,the walls are built up,the glass shatters,and the smile comes crashing down.





	Why Don't You Smile Anymore?

**Author's Note:**

> a/n- i honestly love writing lil’ informal tidbits — lets me play around with more symbolism and bolded/italicized text and stuff. i would ramble about it, but i feel like i would ruin the experience for you guys. honestly if you have any feedback/want to know more about the “writing process,” don’t hesitate to ask me (tumblr's @my-happy-little-bean, or you can just leave a comment) — this was just my way of lowkey writing some more deceit; this time as a thought process rather than actions. it was v fun, so thank you for the prompt, dear anon :)
> 
> enjoy !

It’s only when Patton was alone that he realized that severity of what happened.

Patton didn’t want to tell Roman that if  _he_ felt used, the prince knew  _nothing_ of what he went through tonight. 

He sighed, walking to his bed and picking up a small picture frame off his bedside table. 

It was a picture of him, Logan, Roman, and Virgil; and it was a picture that he often looked at to calm himself down.  _He found comfort in the reminder that he was part of a family._

Logan was caught mid-way through adjusting his glasses, his mouth parted slightly, as if he was also mid-way in explaining how a camera worked; Virgil’s hood was covering his eyes, but still showed his smug, yet warm, smile; Roman was on his one knee with his arms extended forward, winking at the camera with a rose in between his teeth; and Patton stood between Virgil and Logan and behind Roman, wrapping his arms around the two next to him  _and beaming._

Patton’s stomach churned;  ** _Deceit_** wore that smile. 

Patton loved his smile because it cou **ld**  make someone  _happy;_ so it made Patton  _furious_ to think of how Deceit used his smile with the intent of  _hurting someone._

He didn’t want to tell them how he felt, as he be **lie** ved that the others were stressed by Deceit’s sudden decision to make himself known. 

He didn’t want them to know that he fe **lt** _ **a** ngry.   
_The kind of angr **y**  that made Patton want to throw up.

Because n **o m** atter how much  **he trie** d to forget the events of the day—apologies were made, misconceptions were cleared up,  _eve **ryo** ne was  **fin** e—_Patton couldn’t help but fume over the fact that Deceit practically made  _him_  go aga **inst**  his family. 

 **Ho** w  _dar **e**  _he pick at Logan’s insecurities.  
Ho **w**   _d **a** re _he manipulate Roman’s passions.  
**H** o **w**   _d **are**_ **h** e hurt Virgil.

 _Virgil._ The thought of Deceit using his close friendship with the Virgil to hurt made him si **ck**. 

Deceit knew how hard it was for Virgil to trust anyone;  
_how dare **he**  try to take all of that a **way**._

The frame in Patton’s hand began to s **hake**. 

He sho **uld’v** e tried harder. He was well aware of that. When his door was locked this morning, he sh **ould’v** e pushed harder;  _he **should’ve**  screamed louder. _His ignorance nearly caused his family  **harm**.

 _Sick,_  
sick,  
**sick.**

Patton was close to crying or throwing up now. In his panicked haze, he dropped the picture and the glass  _shattered._

Patton immediately shot up out of his bed at the noise, before looking down at what felt like a crime scene.

The broken frame revealed more of the photo, and upon closer inspection, he saw that the edge was darkened,  _and small spots of **yellow**  lined the border of the picture._

As he stared at his family through broken glass,  
he sank to his knees and  _c **r** i **ed**._

He pounded his hands again and again on the broken glass until there were small cuts of  **blood**  on his skin.

_‘He **could’ve**  always been there._

_You **can’t**  do anything to stop him;  
**nothing, nothing, nothing.**_

_Deceit **could’ve**  hurt them—  
**Oh God, Deceit would’ve kept going**._

_**They wouldn’t have known it was you.**  
**They would’ve hated you**.’_

Patton hated to admit it, but he was  _ **weak**. _ He  **couldn’t**  protect his family,  _he **couldn’t**  do anything. _ ** _Deceit_**  lied to his family, using  _ **him**_  to  **hurt**  them.

He felt  _ **used**_ , and when he saw his bright sm **ile** _~~**was it his smile?**~~  _through the cracked glass of the picture frame, he felt  _ **disgusted**_. 

The  **smile**  that his family trusted was used  _against them._

Patton sobbed loudly. It was almost as if  **he**  was the one who told  ** _Deceit_**  where they were so he could hurt him;  _ **he gave Deceit what he needed to hurt him.**_

Patton cried, covering his ears with his bloody hands. 

 ****_Too much,_  
too much,  
too much.

He could barely hear voices on the other side of the door because of how loud his breathing was. He was shaking now, his thoughts racing.

“Patton?” he thought they said. “Patton, can you open the door?”

Patton stared at the door, and for a brief second, he remembered that behind the door was his fam _ily_.

A family who understood,  
_but cou **l** d not forg **i** v **e**._

Patton’s bloody hand went over his mouth,  
**_and he screamed._**

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos/random letters/whatever are great! you can find me on my tumblr, @my-happy-little-bean :)


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